


The Summoning

by Adelaida, WildKitte



Category: Naruto
Genre: (to adelaida's picture), Angst, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Companion Piece, Despair, Established Relationship, Fanart, M/M, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 22:09:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5718871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adelaida/pseuds/Adelaida, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildKitte/pseuds/WildKitte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>In the end, he dies alone. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Summoning

**Author's Note:**

> Art by the wonderful [Adelaida](http://i-like-to-look-at-your-back.tumblr.com/post/137273259293/summoning-jutsu)

 

 

 

In the end, he dies alone.

It's kind of pathetic to die so close to home, really.

But that's where he dies and there's nothing he can do about it.

 

 

 

He finally dies in water. He has run a long way, the moist ground squelching under his sandals. Blood seeps through his clothes, cuts bonedeep and aching. It colours the water with dark colours and the setting sun, spreading into spirals and curling around his form lovingly.

Not that he didn't know. That he would die young.

It just didn't seem that it would be so soon. He simply forgot.

_Ave, deis, morituri te salutant._

 

 

* * *

 

 

The testament sits forgotten in the night drawer. Iruka is preparing a meal.

Nothing too heavy, nothing too pompous. Just a little "welcome" celebration, portable to the hospital if (and, most likely, when) needed. Miso-soup, salt smoked pike. Some salad.

But today Iruka feels like Kakashi is going to come straight to home. He doesn't know why but he feels like Kakashi won't drop by the hospital this time.

The Ninken are laying more or less close to him, relaxed and half-asleep and it makes Iruka feel safe and calm. If Kakashi were in danger, he would summon his pack. Seeing the ninja hounds so at home, wheezing and murmuring, snouts sniffing lazily after the scent of food is cozy. Even Pakkun is sleeping against Iruka's legs, all pretenses aside and sides rising and falling in a smooth tempo, occasionally jumping at a dreamy bark.

Kakashi is coming home today.                        

 

 

* * *

 

 

There's a lot of pain and blood in the end.

That much is to be expected. There's no other way to go in his profession. Not many have the chance to die of old age.

Sometimes he felt like he was already overdue his stay.

Since Obito, perhaps.

Before Iruka, certainly.

 

 

 

His right shoulder blade was snapped neatly in half not a mile ago and it throbs and pulses white and blue in his eyes. That one was entirely due to exhaustion and the carelessness it brought in its wake - already enough proof how majorly fucked his situation was. There is also this pain in his side, near his hip, that shoots agony through his spine every time he moves.

Even _his_ bones are fragile.

There is probably something ruptured in his guts, judging by the feeling alone. He hopes none of his broken ribs stab through his lungs because that'd be just rude.

How odd.

Before he fell to the water, he remembers killing someone. He remembers crushing a spine, the bone resisting against his fingertips until giving in, the blood welcoming him and accompanying him to the wrong side of the body. The sickening crunching sound of body falling into itself, then onto the ground with a dull thud.

The person he killed was hopefully his target. He has no energy to fight anymore and he still has to summon his Ninken to help. He's not entirely sure if his chakra depletion allows it but he just wants someone to find him before he dies.

There it hits him.

He's going to die here all alone.

 

 

 

The water is cool and seeps through his clothes, not exactly easing the pain but numbing him enough. The surface ripples with weak waves. The air is still and the sounds are still and the silence is deafening and the water is quiet and doesn't answer to his pained grunts, just soothes his temples and lulls him to numbness.

As the sun sets, he's alone.

Nearby a rustle reveals a shy sparrow from the bed of reeds. Waterlilies begin reaching towards the last beams of sunlight before lulling to sleep and closing their petals to the darkness of the night, hiding their stems like mothers hold their children.

 

 

 

He wants to go home, to Iruka's warm and soft home and beaming smiles like the stars and galaxies in the clear night skies.

He wants to go home to Naruto, see the boy with golden hair and eyes like fire, just one more, _please_ , just one more time, he wants to see the boy once more.

He wants to go home. Fall asleep next to Iruka's sleeping form and breathe in the sweet scent of his hair, fill his hands with Iruka's skin and tug him closer, until their forms cannot be separated again, feel the heat of his heart and insides again, warm himself with love that Iruka pours onto him, honeylike and satin.

He wants to see Iruka once again, the light in his darkness, the one who will smile and make it alright again, he wants to touch him one more time, just once, he wants to drink love from his damp lips and lick the happiness in his mouth, he wants to inhale that airy laughter once more in his abused lungs.

He wants to go back to his life, his very own life, that he finally has.

How unfair is it for him to die now that all his dreams have at last come true? 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Iruka showers.

The water gliding down his tanned flesh reminds him of Kakashi's burning hands and he relishes in the knowledge that tonight he will welcome his lover to his bed and make love to him until they tire and fall asleep in each other's embrace.

He laughs under his breath, to himself and his silly thoughts.

He has missed Kakashi a lot, hm? Has he fucking ever.

Iruka washes his hair, soaps his body clean, rinses and smiles.

He dries himself mechanically, his thoughts lost somewhere between memories and dreams of lonely nights and days. He puts on cream and pours scented oil in his hair, making his brown locks all smooth and silky for Kakashi to run his fingers through, for his skin to be sweet to press kisses on. Tonight Iruka will forget about the reek of blood, he will wash it all off exhausted shoulders, he will make it all good and clean again.

His favourite yukata, blue and soft and warm, is draped loosely on his form. Iruka makes the table, setting chopsticks and plates deep in his thoughts, a laughter bubbling from his chest, all giddy and excited.

Tonight is the night.

He even lights candles.

When he sets one candle on the dining table, the flame suddenly struggles and withers violently. Like flowers finally giving in to the northern wind, before the snow falls, and dropping their petals reluctantly, weary and run-down.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He's not going to die. For he has decided.

 

 

 

Summon the dogs. Summon the dogs. They will find him. They will send a message. Someone will come to help. Someone will come to his aid, someone will take him home.

Someone is going to carry him to Iruka and he is going to see Iruka again.

He will pledge allegiance to Naruto and see Minato's dream come true in its full glory.

So summon the dogs. He raises his hands one more time and tries to breathe through the pain.

 

 

 

_It's not fair._

 

 

* * *

 

 

Iruka lights the candle again.

His brow is furrowed and a smile doesn't entirely form back on his face. He feels kind of cold and shakes the feeling off.

"How silly," he mumbles to himself.

The fire stays, the earlier giddiness doesn't.

Pakkun tibbies next to where Iruka is sitting and looks up at him.

"It's probably nothing, Pakkun," Iruka says after a while, still staring the flame, "but are you sure Kakashi is alright."

"He hasn't summoned us yet. He is probably fine." The fierce ninja hound raises a hind leg to scratch behind his ear. "Mmh."

But his heart won't rest.

"It does feel a bit weird, though," Bisuke comments somewhere under the table and Iruka raises his bow.

"What do you me--"

There's a knock on the door. The pack and Iruka raise their head in an odd unison and Iruka stands up stiffly, staring at the entrance.

There's another, more hesitant knock and Iruka finally moves, his feet taking long and languid steps and he feels like walking under water, tension tugging at his chest.

He reaches the door, doesn't bother do differentiate the person as he opens the door with glee.

"Kakash--"

For the second time he is interrupted, this time with the sight of very serious-looking Naruto.

Behind him the dogs disappear.

 

 

* * *

 

 

During his final moments, trying and failing to complete the summoning jutsu, Kakashi has some time to think, despite everything.

There are a few things he regrets.

However, he doesn't regret meeting Iruka.

He doesn't regret one moment, not their famous public fight, not their less famous and less public fights. He never regrets getting to know him, he doesn't regret one bit falling in love and he doesn't regret living together.

He doesn't regret staying for dinners, staying for nights, then for more. Iruka he doesn't regret.

Not if he gets to see him one more time.

 

 

 

In his last moments Kakashi almost finishes the summon. He feels the last bits of his chakra flow into the jutsu and he almost does it. He doesn't, though.

He does reach the last hand gesture.

 

 

 

In his last moments, lying alone in the water, a thought surges through his entire being as the last droplets of chakra disappear, a thought loud and clear as a bell. _"I want to live."_

 

 

* * *

 

 

He doesn't.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

**_Empty-handed I_ **

**_entered the world_ **

**_Barefoot I leave it._ **

**_My coming, my going_ **

**_\--  Two simple happenings_ **

**_That got_ **

**_entangled._ _Like dew drops_**

**_on a lotus leaf_ **

**_I vanish._ **

_~ Kozan Ichikyo_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Next episode: will Iruka eat his miso-soup alone?
> 
> We've been on this project since Summer (July?) and I'm super glad to finally destroy your poor hearts. I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Leave a kudos and a comment, if you'd like~  
> Also feel free to come and yell at me on twitter [@wildkitte](https://twitter.com/wildkitte)


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